The Incredible Hulk (2008)

THE INCREDIBLE HULK!

I have to admit, I had low expectations for this movie. It had so many things potentially going against it: it was a remake of a movie made a mere five years ago, it was written by Zak Penn (the guy who wrote "X3"), and, most ominously, its star, Edward Norton, was refusing to promote it. So by the time the opening credits began over an expository sequence of pictures and events (never a good sign), I had emotionally prepared myself for pretty much any level of badness that didn't dip below the "The Punisher" mark.

But the unexpected happened: the movie started to be pretty good. As it happens, "The Incredible Hulk" is not a remake at all, but a sequel; the expository sequence at the beginning serves to pretty much sum up the events of the first movie, albeit in a slightly altered and significantly less confusing manner. "Hulk" was an origin story; "The Incredible Hulk" feels more like what I imagine the TV show felt like (and having never seen said TV show, I am obviously a credible source on the subject), wherein we get to follow Edward Norton on the run in Brazil in what turns out to be a fairly interesting story. Superhero movies tend to be most compelling when the superheroes are at their least super; running from the law, living off of cash... Bruce Banner's is an incredibly compelling story to watch, a story that allows one to connect to the character on a human level. Also, he's played by Edward Norton. That helps.

So in conclusion, "The Incredible Hulk" is highly enjoyable so far, and three-fourths of the way into the movie I feel confident in saying that I would recommend it.


THE INCREDIBLE HULK!

What the hell?

Why did they do that? The movie seemed like it was going so well... is this New York's fault? Everything went to shit when they got to New York. Maybe Bruce Banner is allergic to New York? Yes, that's the explanation! Bruce Banner is allergic to New York, so every time he goeaaargh no who am I kidding? I know why this happened. We've seen this a million times before...

hello studio executive how are you todayHELLO WRITER HULK SHOULD FIGHT HIMSELF ...what? no that's notYES HE SHOULD FIGHT HIMSELF OR MAYBE AN ORC ...i don't thinWAIT YESSSSS HE SHOULD FIGHT A CROSS BETWEEN HIMSELF AND A ORC OH MY GOD I AM A GENIUS ok, i know that sounds cool, but it'll probably actually be kind of boring. NO IT WILL BE COOL TRUST ME WRITER I AM HELLA AWESOME yes... sir... but don't you think mayOH AND FUCK LETS DROP HIM OUT OF A HELICOPTER ...that ...why? BECAUSE WHAT OBVIOUSLY ITS FRICKING THE COOLEST THING EVAR

I'm legitimately disappointed. I felt like this movie had so much going for it: it was a well-thought-out sequel, it was written by Zak Penn (the guy who wrote "X2"), and, fuck, Edward Norton was in it! Now I know why he refused to promote it. I guess I really don't like Bruce Banner when he's angry; action alone is not suspense: obviously Hulk is going to win (SPOILERS). Superhero movies tend to be most compelling when the superheroes are at their least super, and there is little that is super-er than the Hulk fighting another the Hulk, nor is there much that is boring-er. Honestly, I preferred the ending to "Hulk," in which (as my friend so aptly puts it) the Hulk and some guy explode into a cloud of nonsense (SPOILERS). That ending was ridiculous, but this ending was weak, as weak as the exact opposite of two Hulks beating the shit out of each other. And, of course, there's the reveal at the very end (with a cameo, and who doesn't love cameos) that this movie was essentially made for the specific purpose of allowing the studio to turn The Avengers into a movie which will suck (SPOILERS). I suppose it could be worse, though. They could try to make another sequel. And, at the rate they're going, "The Absolutely Ridiculous Hulk" would've been downright terrible.

No, I believe the Hulk franchise is dead, and it must let the world think it is dead until it can find a way to control the raging morons that dwell within it.

DUN DUN DUHN, DUHN, DUHHHHN!